*LIGHT AIRY SPRING MUSIC
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
*BEAUTIFUL MUSIC SWELLS
[THUNDEROUS STOMP]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
* LOW BASS RUMBLES
* EPIC INTRO MUSIC
PRESSMAN 2 Did you get it? Did you get it on camera?
PRESSMAN 1 No.
PRESSMAN 2 Do you believe?
PRESSMAN 1 I believe...I believe it was a man in a monkey suit.
There's no such thing as Bigfoot and there's no such thing as
Zombies, but that? That was no man in a monkey suit!
[GROWLING NOISES]
* MUSIC ESCALATES [GROWLING NOISES]
* CALM CLASSICAL MUSIC
MICHAEL Now before you get your hopes up, allow me to empty my cup.
I am not a superhero. I am not a superstar.
I'm the guy you ask to help you move. I'm the guy you meet at
your local bar. And I am no boyscout, all dressed up for
show and go, oh no. In my little head my Grandma's warning
echoes from long ago. Michael, remember: you reap what you sow.
DEBERA Mr. Thornton, I'm leaving now... I have tickets to the theater.
Michael?
Go ahead, have a good night.
And Michael? I realize this may not be convenient but
I'd like to ask for a raise.
DEBERA Before you say anything, I'm very proficient with
my duties and the clients like me very much.
MICHAEL Little people...
DEBERA You mean like- what, children?
Yes, children. And I'm told, dogs like me very much.
You don't see me asking for a raise.
I hear in Europe you get a raise the very first day you start a job.
Now why doesn't that surprise me?
What kind of raise are we talking?
I don't know, nothing grand or obnoxious. Just something that
says you appreciate me and my efforts and my many, many talents.
Can't I just say I do appreciate you and be done with it?
No, it doesn't work that way, Michael - You should know that.
Besides, I thought you said you were in a good mood today.
Good moods. Yeah, I am in a good mood. Go ahead, give yourself
a raise and I'll sign it on Monday morning.
Well, and now you can now count me among the many dogs and
children that like you. And our dear dear Mother would be
very pleased with your generosity.
Enjoy your show. Sis.
Have a pleasant weekend, Mr. Thornton.
* CLASSICAL MUSIC GROWS LOUDER
DJ1 (ON RADIO) Hey Bumble, it's the First day of summer. Can you believe it?
DJ2 (ON RADIO) I can believe it. Longest day of the year.
DJ1(ON RADIO) And a beautiful day it is.
DJ2 And already the crazies are out. [WHISTLE SOUND EFFECT]
DJ1 You mean my ex-wife's back in town?
[CROWD LAUGHTER AND CLAPPING]
Please explain.
DJ2 You haven't heard about the sightings?
DJ1 Go on.
DJ2 It seems Bigfoot is baacckk! [GROWLING SOUND EFFECT]
DJ1 You don't say?
DJ2 I do say. It seems Sasquatch is alive and well. Multiple
sightings in the last three days. Although some say it
looked like an escaped ape or a gorilla.
DJ1 Is there a difference?
DJ2 Ah- beats me but one man says his two dogs are missing.
DJ1 And he thinks Bigfoot did it? What kind of dogs?
DJ2 Large ones, German Shepherds. They were outside
barking up a storm last night. When one of them
yelped - he went outside. No dogs, Nein!
Not even a trace of the dogs.
DJ1 Yeah, well it's been a long winter. Perhaps he ate his dogs.
DJ2 Oh-
DJ1 Hey if you see two large German Shepherd dogs goose-stepping it
through the woods give us a call. But if you see Bigfoot...
BOTH DJS Runnnn!!!
DJ1 And now back to some summer music.
[DOOR BELL RINGING]
PHIL Hello!
LI Hi, uh- welcome to my home
PHIL Oh this is quite lovely.
LI Uh, where would you uh- like to conduct the interview? I thought
maybe the- the living room would be most suitable.
PHIL Oh this is just delightful.
What if we have her seated in front of the fireplace?
Hello this is Phil Philbin, and I have the remarkable
opportunity of being in the lovely home of famed author,
Li Wei. Ms. Wei has agreed to tell us her extraordinary
happenstance on camera in this exclusive interview.
Li could you tell us your experience exactly
as it unfolded.
Um- well we were uh- on our usual thursday afternoon hike,
and in no time we were very much alone in the wilderness.
There was a low growl from the growth in front of me, and I-
I know it was not from a small animal and I was- I was frozen
in my spot and then it appeared.
[HEAVY BREATHING AND GROWLING NOISES]
and I just... I came to the ravine, and I didn't know where
to go. I was freefalling, just 50 feet straight down, and I
don't know if I jumped or the creature shoved me, but I was...
I blacked out and-
I- when I came to I was in a creek and the smell was gone.
so I surmised that the creature had also vanished.
Now was this when, this happened?
Yes, this- this is what I got for my efforts.
Well it- it could've been much worse.
Yes, I could have died.
And then?
And that's when I called you.
What did you say?
I- I said, beware the woods. Be- beware the woods.
* EERIE DRONING MUSIC
JERRY (ON PHONE) Are you at the cabin?
MICHAEL I am.
JERRY (ON PHONE) Is she on her way?
MICHAEL She is.
JERRY (OS) Are you still going through with it?
MICHAEL (ON PHONE) Look Jerry...
After Jessica died I thought about her every single day.
And I'll be the first to admit my second marriage was a
huge mistake... but Sara...Sara's different.
I think I'm very much in love.
JERRY And you're not too proud to admint it.
Third time's the charm huh?
MICHAEL (ON PHONE) You said it.
JERRY Do you have a ring?
MICHAEL (ON PHONE) Of course.
I'll pop the question tonight.
JERRY And she'll say yes.
Are you on your way to another happy hour at Rick's bar?
JERRY No, I'm on my way to the cabin, Your cabin. I've got some docs
you have to sign off on. They have to be delivered
tomorrow morning, it's very, very important to us.
MICHAEL I thought we were fine. After last week?
JERRY (ON PHONE) Bad news good news.
They started seizing our assets but stopped abruptly. I moved
all that I could without waving a red flag to the IRS
to come and arrest us.
How bad is it?
JERRY You mean how bad was it. On a scale of 1-10 it was a 10+.
We're lucky the Russian's didn't bury us at the bottom
of Castaic- Uh- Sorry, um- I should'nt've said that.
Look with a little maneuvering and some timing, we'll survive
this and be better than ever.
That's good to hear.
JERRY (ON PHONE) [LAUGHING] I don't know how you managed it. You
must be the luckiest guy I know. Russians usually don't give up.
Cut off the head.
What's that?
JERRY (ON PHONE) Mike-
Yeah?
JERRY (ON PHONE) Well I hate to ask but are they uh- still looking for him?
No they think he doesn't want to be found.
Ooh and we certainly don't want him to be found.
Not on the phone Jerry.
Well how's uh- how's Sara doing?
She thinks he's gone into hiding.
Oh that's good, that's good. See time heals all wounds.
When will you be here?
Well, traffic's a bitch. Probably two or three hours.
Sara?
Within the hour.
JERRY (ON PHONE) Well-
say hello for me until I can say it myself.
I'll do that.
Oh and Mike- Congratulations.
Thanks.
[PHONE BEEPS]
* CHASE MUSIC BEGINS AND ESCALATES *
[GROWLING; THEN SCREAMS]
SARA (ON PHONE) Michael?
MICHAEL I'm here.
SARA (ON PHONE) Hey, I just wanted to let you know I'm going to be
a little late. Traffic sucks.
MICHAEL So I've heard.
SARA (ON PHONE) I can't wait to see you. Are you okay?
If I lost- If I lost everything
I'd love you even more.
SARA (ON PHONE) Hey what's happening?
Nothing to worry about. Jerry says we have it under control.
I just want you to know that no matter what,
I will always love you. It doesn' t matter what happens.
I'll see you soon Michael.
MICHAEL See you soon.
[PHONE BEEPS]
PHIL You are one of the World's Authorities on these creatures?
PROFESSOR Well I am the world's foremost authority on the cryptid hominid
or gigantophithecus canadensis uh- or in lay terms;
The Sasquatch and it's more guttural cousin; Bigfoot-
And we also must include the Yeti in any discussions of
scientific merit - And I am slightly taken aback at the
robust renewed interest in these wonderful creatures.
Lovely, lovely...And you say you can imitate their sounds?
Oh sounds? Oh- Of course. Uh- and if I may say so, I am an
expert in all three.
Oh- Could you give us an actual demonstration if needed?
Demonstration? Oh, I'm very flattered that you've
asked. Um- [CLEARS THROAT] I will first do the Yeti.
[MAKES YETI HOWL NOISES]
And now the Sasquatch.
[MAKES SASQUATCH BARKING NOISE]
And now the 'piece de resistance', the Bigfoot.
[MAKES BIGFOOT GROWLING NOISES]
Have you- Have you ever actually seen one of these creatures?
Oh- um- alas no. Uh- never. But I do believe with my
whole heart, that I will one day walk hand in hand with them.
In my next lifetime.
I'm sure the feeling is mutual.
JASON (OS) I'm just saying, any animal that is teased long enough
will attack you.
JAKE (OS) What about a shark, a shark is going to attack you whether
you tease it or not.
JASON (OS) I'm not talking about a shark, I'm talking about a land animal.
JILL Is a shark considered to be an animal? I know it's a fish
but is it an animal?
JASON I think so.
JAKE Yeah. I think so too.
JASON So what's the difference between a Yeti,
a Sasquatch, and Bigfoot?
JAKE Alright so a Yeti is like the abominable snow man. He's all
white and he lives in the snow.
JASON Agreed.
JILL A Sasquatch makes its' home in the Redwoods.
JASON Also agreed.
JAKE But Bigfoot...
JILL Bigfoot can live anywhere.
JASON Give the lady a prize.
JILL Why are we here again?
JAKE Two hundred dollars a pound for morel mushrooms.
JILL And where are these fungi?
JASON There's a fungus among us...
JAKE It should be just over this way.
JILL Oh my God. What is that?
* EERIE PIANO MUSIC ESCALATES
JILL Well is it human or animal?
JAKE I guess now we know why they call it Bigfoot.
* ROMANTIC PIANO MUSIC
[FLASH BACK SOUND EFFECTS]
SARA Good morning. Coffee?
Sorry I'm not a stalker I just see you in this coffee shop
all the time and I wanted to say hi. I'm Sara.
[FLASH BACK SOUND EFFECTS]
* ROMANTIC PIANO MUSIC
MICHAEL To you whenever you arrive.
* DEEP EERIE MUSIC BEGINS [ GROWLING NOISES]
SARA Michael?
[GROWLING]
[SARA SCREAMS AS RECORD SCRATHCES]
* DANCE MUSIC BEGINS
* SLOW ROMANTIC TRUMPET MUSIC
MICHAEL Cheers.
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Well it's about time.
What happened?
Why?
[GROWLING NOISES] * MUSIC EXCALATES
MICHAEL Sara?
SARA Michael... [AGONIZING GROWL SCREAMS
* EERIE MUSIC
MICHAEL Sara!
[FLASH BACK NOISES]
SARA What nationality are you?
MICHAEL I'm a purebred mutt.
[SARA LAUGHS]
I'm Russian. Purebred Russian
Where's your accent?
My father inssisted that I go to only the best schools, and
that meant you know my accent was the first thing to go.
I think you might like my dad. I think he might like you too.
You guys are both... Well I mean you- you heard the rumors.
Guys like me don't get here without doing things-
a bit differently.
My mom used to say- A man can never truly find himself
until he is reduced to his most basic self.
And what does that mean?
I don't know but it seemed like the appropriate time to say it.
I want you to meet my family.
That's a big step isn't it.
If you're scared its a big step.
If you're a big strong man I think you can handle it.
Are you a big strong man Michael.
I have my moments.
[FLASH BACK SOUND EFFECTS]
[GROWLING NOISES]
[FIGHT SOUNDS]
Sara!
* MUSIC SWELLS TO A HALT
[PHONE RINGING]
MICHAEL (RECORDING) Hi, this is Michael. With any luck I'm out having a
great time. Leave your sunny message after the tone.
[VOICEMAIL TONE]
DEBERA Michael, it's your sis. I realize that you're in the
throes of impending marital bliss, but I just wanted to call
and wish you every happiness. I'm certain that Sara will
give you everything that you deserve. And Michael...
Even if there's a couple of bumps along the road,
I have no doubt that you two can smooth it over.
Well, I guess that's it for now dear brother. I love you. Ta ta.
* VIOLIN MUSIC ESCALATES
* ETHEREAL CHIMES
SARA (OS) I'm getting dizzy Michael.
[FLASH BACK NOISES]
Will you catch me if I fall? Because I'm falling Michael.
I'm falling for you!
[FLASH BACK NOISES]
Sara!
* EERIE SYNTH MUSIC
Sara!
GUY (OS) You can survive days without food.
But you cannot survive without water.
If you wouldn't have forgotten the water we would have
no problems right now.
GIRL No problems? You don't even know where we are. Who doesn't
bring a map or a cell phone?
GUY Why would I want some kind of electronic device
out here amongst all this natural beauty?
It's the antithesis of why we came out here.
GIRL And I'm just realizing how truly clueless you really are.
First rule of hiking, know where you are at all times.
GUY Well where's your cell phone?
GIRL In the car which we can't find because of you.
Why did I even agree to this? I don't like hiking.
GUY Hiking is fine as long as you remember the water.
GIRL You're an idiot.
GUY You know what, name calling is going to do nothing to help us.
GIRL Idiot.
Alright alright, I'll make you a deal. If you get us out of here,
I'll stop calling you names.
GUY [LAUGHING] I highly doubt that- but sure. You've got yourself a deal.
Mind if we keep moving?
GUY Look lights.
GIRL Is that a cabin?
GUY [LAUGHING] Yeah I think it is. I can taste the water from here.
GIRL I take it back. No deal. You really are an idiot.
What is that awful smell?
GUY It's got to be a dead animal around here.
GIRL I think I'm going to be sick.
[GROWLING NOISES] * EERIE MUSIC
GIRL What is that?
[BIGFOOT GROWL]
GIRL Help me.
Help me!
[GROWLING AND GIRL SCREAMING]
[MICHAEL WHIMPERING]
[FLASH BACK SOUND EFFECTS]
* ROMANTIC CLASSICAL MUSIC
SARA Where are we going with all this Michael.
I've fallen in love with you. I didn't mean for it to happen,
It just did. What about you Michael.
I know you've been married.
MICHAEL Twice.
Care to try for three?
SARA (OS) Daddy wants to meet you.
Why?
SARA (OS) Because I've told him about you.
He's my father Michael. He's very protective
of his little girl. Meeting you would give him some comfort.
You'd want to protect me right?
It's time Michael. You can't hide from him forever.
Buck up Bucko
SECURITY GUARD Name?
MICHAEL Michael Thornton.
SECURITY GUARD You're on the list Mr. Thornton.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PULSES]
SARA Michael, finally, hurry. Daddy's waiting.
SARA Daddy, [KISSING NOISE] This is Michael.
SARA'S FATHER So this is the bastard who wants to steal my daughter?
SARA Hey, don't intimidate him. He's not like the others.
SARA [KISSING NOISES] He likes you.
MAN #1 So you are a business man?
MICHAEL I try.
MAN #2 We know all about you Michael Thornton.
SARA'S FATHER You didn't think I would allow just anyone
to sleep with my daughter?
MAN #1 You have made money and lost money.
That is the way of business. Am I correct?
SARA'S FATHER He is correct.
But we are in the business of making money all the time.
MAN #1 That is why you are here.
MAN #2 We want to include you.
SARA'S FATHER Any man that wants to be with my daughter must give her
the lifestyle she deserves.
MAN #1 And our business together will benefit your lifestyle.
MAN #2 Greatly.
MAN #1 You are a lucky man, Michael Thornton.
A very lucky man.
SARA'S FATHER Enjoy the rest of the evening, Michael.
And be very good to my daughter.
Your life depends on it.
MAN #2 Michael. He make joke.
SARA'S FATHER You may leave now, Michael.
SARA: Daddy really likes you.
MICHAEL How can you tell?
SARA He's quick to judge.
He's really quick to judge.
But he likes you.
MICHAEL Is that a good thing?
SARA Yeah, that's a good thing.
Maybe he'll even get you involved
in some of his business.
Daddy's really good at business.
MICHAEL So he tells me.
What's with those accents?
SARA Sometimes it's better if people
don't know you're Russian.
MICHAEL I like your laugh.
SARA Well, that's good to know.
MICHAEL In fact, I like a lot about you.
SARA You sound so shocked.
Oh, I am shocked, Sara.
I am shocked.
[FLASH BACK NOISES]
* EERIE BASS RUMBLES
[CRICKETS CHIRP]
MICHAEL She bit off her own finger to get to mine?
Out of sight, out of mind.
*SCARY MUSIC
[SNARLING]
[GLASS BREAKING] Groaning, grunting.
[SNARLING AND GROWLING]
MICHAEL Ahhhh!!
* MUSIC GRINDS TO A HALT [DOOR SHUTTING SOUND]
[GRUNTING]
[MOANING]
[PAINFUL BELLOWS]
[OOHS AND AHHS]
[MUFFLED PAINFUL SOUNDS]
Buck up, Bucko.
[PIERCING WAILING CRIES]
[CRYING CONTINUES]
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS]
* HAUNTING VIOLIN AND CELLO
SARA'S FATHER You know everyone.
MAN #2 Make drink.
MAN #1 It is important to us to have your loyalty.
Unquestioned loyalty.
SARA'S FATHER You have a problem with that?
MAN #1 We have a new proposition for you. For all of us.
It'll make you wealthy.
And the three of us wealthier.
MAN #2 But you...
...you are the unknown link.
We don't want you to be the weakest link, Michael.
BODYGUARD: Vodka.
MAN #2 Let me tell you story about guy who sell his soul
to highest bidders.
SARA'S FATHER That is you, Michael.
You're selling your soul to us.
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS]
[CRASHING AT THE DOOR]
MICHAEL And this little piggy goes into the champagne bucket
[SCARY GROWLING]
[CRICKETS CHIRP]
[HOWLING IN THE DISTANCE]
* THUMPING BASS KICKS IN
[DOOR CREAKS]
[SNARLING AND GROWLING]
[SCREAMING]
[VIOLENT GROWLING]
[CRACK!]
[WOODEN BAT DROPS]
[WHEEZING]
[SNARLING]
[GRUNTING]
[LOUD SHRILL]
[SCREAMING]
* PIANO MUSIC FADES UP
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS]
SARA'S FATHER (O.S.) What is it, Michael?
You look like a man who just lost his puppy.
MAN #1 It's an easy job.
You don't have a problem with that. It'll make you rich.
MAN #2 They own a jewelry store.
MAN #1 They're from the old country.
MAN #2 There's a large safe in the back of the store.
SARA'S FATHER They don't believe in banks.
We have guy inside. He show you safe.
MAN #1 You'll already have the combination.
MAN #2 You will unlock safe.
SARA'S FATHER Listen to me carefully, Michael.
I'm only going to say this once.
Inside the safe you will find cash and a large envelope.
Do not look inside the envelope.
Bring it back to us unopened.
MAN #1 You can keep the cash you find.
How much cash?
Ha! See, now we have interest.
MAN #1 Three mill, maybe five.
Keep the cash. But the envelope...
The envelope...
...you bring back to us.
Now you are one of us, Michael.
* ROCK GUITAR RIFFS
DEALER Self protection, huh?
I understand that.
We all need protection today.
Am I right or am I right?
Now this baby...
this here is The Terminator of all handguns.
It'll blow a hole so big in a man, you gonna see Alaska, baby.
DEALER (O.S.) And ain't nobody getting up after you use that cannon.
Five hundred. And I will throw in a box of pasta shells.
Have I seen you before?
You know, you got the look of a killa'?
I don't mean that in a bad way.
You got the look of a man who if he's pushed
just a little too far...
Yeah...you got the look of a stone cold killa'.
MICHAEL I think I made a big mistake.
Oh, baby...
the only mistake you're gonna make is walking out that door.
There comes a time when everyone, and I mean everyone,
wishes they had a gun.
* MUSIC FADES OUT
[EERIE BASS BEGINS] [STREET NOISE AND TRAFFIC]
MAN #1 (V.O.) It's an easy job.
MAN #2 (V.O.) They own a jewelry store.
SARA'S FATHER (V.O.) They don't believe in banks.
MAN #1 (V.O.) It'll make you rich.
MAN #2 (V.O.) We have guy inside. He show you safe.
MAN #1 (V.O.) You can keep the cash you find.
Three mill, maybe five.
SARA'S FATHER Now you are one of us, Michael.
JERRY So who died and left you king?
MICHAEL Nice, huh?
JERRY Better than nice. This is fantastic!
How can we afford it?
Should I ask how?
I made a deal with Sara's father.
JERRY I see. What kind of deal?
Relax, Jerry. No strings attached.
The important thing is that the company is once again healthy.
Well Mike, I don't want to rain on your parade but there are
good Russians and there are bad Russians.
which one is he?
Maybe I don't want to know.
Just don't let him...
Ha ha ha! Wow!
This is a great view.
Maybe I should learn to speak Russian
so I can properly thank him.
Them.
Them?
Oh, it's a them now.
What happened to her father?
He has partners, Jerry.
Mm..hm...Russian partners?
Don't get me wrong. Good Russians make good partners.
But bad Russians...
Bad Russians will leave us at the bottom of the harbor.
What are you worried about? You know how to swim.
Not with a hundred pound weight cemented to my feet.
Then let's hope it doesn't come to that.
Oh yeah, let's hope...
Well, maybe, just maybe, this will all be worth it.
Hey...
I'm gonna need a new wardrobe.
Yes you are, Jerry. Yes you are.
JERRY Ha ha! Excellent.
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS]
[CAR ENGINE] [TIRES ON GRAVEL]
[ENGINE OFF]
[CAR ALARM LOCK]
[GROWLING NEARBY]
* SCARY ABRUPT MUSIC
[SCREAMING AND SNARLING]
[WHIMPER]
[LOUD ROAR]
[MAN SCREAMING]
* INTENSE FAST MUSIC
[HEAVY GROWLING] [MONSTER NOISES]
* MUSIC ABRUPTLY STOPS
[LOUDER, LARGER MONSTER NOISES]
[MOANS]
MICHAEL Jerry!
What are you doing?
It's your fiancée.
Jerry!
[LOUD ROAR IN THE DISTANCE]
[ANOTHER LOUD ROAR]
[SNARLING]
[SNARLING CONTINUES]
[BANGING AT DOOR]
[PHONE DIAL TONE]
OPERATOR (O.S.) 9-1-1, please state the nature of your emergency.
MICHAEL My fiancée, she's...
OPERATOR Please state your emergency.
MICHAEL She's--she has rabies or something
OPERATOR Sir, please state your emergency.
MICHAEL She's trying to kill me.
OPERATOR Who is trying to kill you, sir?
MICHAEL My fiancée!
OPERATOR In what way is she trying to kill you, sir?
[GROWLING AT DOOR]
She's trying to bite me to death.
OPERATOR Sir, we have had an overload of prank calls tonight.
Calling 911 as a joke is a crime.
It is a felony.
MICHAEL I have two fingers and my big toe in the freezer
to prove to you this is no damn joke!
OPERATOR What was that?
MICHAEL She's trying to get in.
OPERATOR Where are you now?
I'm locked in the bathroom.
OPERATOR Sir, listen to me...
We have been inundated tonight with strange calls.
But I will have a patrol car to you as soon as possible.
OPERATOR What is your address?
33430 Rustic Canyon Drive
OPERATOR Do not open that door until the police arrive.
Do you understand?
Do you understand?!
MICHAEL I'm not an idiot!
[GROWLING FADES]
* INTENSE MUSIC RISES
DISPATCH (O.S.) 1 Adam 4, 1 Adam 4 do you copy?
* MELLOW CARIBBEAN MUSIC
DISPATCH 1 Adam 4, this is Dispatch. Do you copy?
OFFICER #2 Damn. Is she trying to kill my buzz? Really?
DISPATCH 1 Adam 4, this is Dispatch. Do you copy?
OFFICER #1 Better answer her. She'll never leave us alone.
[COUGHING]
OFFICER #2 Uh...10-4 Dispatch. We copy. Loud and clear.
DISPATCH Be advised, we have a domestic disturbance at
33430 Rustic Canyon Road.
No, dispatch.
Contact Ben. That's his patrol.
DISPATCH Don't think we haven't been trying.
Ben hasn't answered and has not called in.
He's probably sleeping one off.
OFFICER #1 Again?
OFFICER #2 Uh, 10-4 Dispatch. We are on our way.
DISPATCH Please be advised...
Vic says his fiancée is trying to bite him to death.
He's locked himself in the bathroom.
Ha ha! Say it again?
DISPATCH Vic says his fiancée is trying to bite him to death.
He's locked himself in the bathroom.
He says she's bitten off two of his fingers and a toe.
10-4 Dispatch.
We'll muzzle her if needed.
Over and out.
That must be one angry fiancée.
Now...
what would you do...
if your fiancée no less...
bit off your toe?
You know what I'd do.
Exactly.
Let's not hurry this.
If this guy can't take care of his woman...
Exactly.
I say we fire up one more.
It'll give us better perspective
of the overall situation
when we get there.
Exactly.
OFFICER #1 Besides, he's locked himself in the bathroom.
[LAUGHTER ECHOES INTO THE NIGHT]
SARA'S FATHER (V.O.) In the old country...
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS]
...we'd cut off your hands and feet
and leave you in the woods with the wolves.
That way you'd still be alive when they devoured you.
That's the old way.
MAN #2 Today, we have law to take care of pound of flesh.
MAN #1 Most of the time.
SARA'S FATHER Yes. Most of the time.
MAN #2 But...
Even in this country we know how to make you pay.
SARA'S FATHER You disappointed us, Michael.
You invested our money without including us.
MICHAEL Your money?
Of course.
MAN #1 Who's money did you think it was?
You said, "keep the cash".
MAN #1 Yes.
But it is not your cash.
MAN #2 We could not explain money, so you were our bank, Michael.
But make no mistake...
It's our cash.
You truly didn't think the money was yours?
Sometimes in this country you people have more
balls than brains.
Which brings us back to our problem.
We want our money.
MICHAEL There is no actual money.
As you said, the money's invested.
You invested our money without including us.
You said, "keep the cash"!
Don't play tough guy with us, Michael.
Maybe you think you are tough guy
and we are dumb immigrants.
One week. We want our money.
One week, Michael. No more.
Or you will wake up and find your big balls in your mouth.
[ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC FADES UP]
[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]
DEALER Well, welcome back Kotter.
You know, I always thought I'd see you again.
You had that look.
MICHAEL What look?
The look of a killa'. Hungry for action.
MICHAEL Or maybe just desperate.
DEALER No, not you.
DEALER I live all day long with desperate people and believe me
they don't look like you.
I want the cannon.
And I'll take a suppressor.
Ha! We call it a silencer, killa.
You going balls deep, huh?
Now, are you the hunter? or the hunted?
Does it matter?
No, not really.
But I wouldn't want you coming after me.
Especially with that monster.
I don't use 'em, I just sell 'em.
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS]
What's wrong with this picture, Michael?
[A CHILD'S MUSIC BOX TUNE PLAYS]
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS]
[MUSIC BOX TUNE CONTINUES]
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS]
[GROWLING]
Fake?
Who puts fake guns in a cabin?!
[SNARLING]
MICHAEL Ahhhhh!!!
DISPATCH 1 Adam 4, do you copy?
Maybe we should get moving.
Yeah. Yeah.
We better get moving.
DISPATCH 1 Adam 4, do you copy?!
[COUGHING]
We copy, dispatch.
DISPATCH You are not going to believe this but we are issuing a
county wide emergency alert within the hour.
OFFICER #2 What gives?
DISPATCH Need to know basis.
We'll get briefed after all cars return to Headquarters.
What? We're being recalled?
DISPATCH That's a big 10-4.
You are to drop everything and return to HQ immediately.
Do you copy?
10-4. Copy that.
Now, what is up with that?
Beats the hell out of me.
But the question is...
Do we still go up to Rustic Canyon?
Well, if we gun it...
I mean, if we really gun it...
We're only about ten minutes away.
And I, for one...
want to see that killer fiancée.
I want to see the ball-less wonder.
[LAUGHING] [COUGHING]
I say we go for it.
I'm with you!
Well then, let's do it!
[ENGINE REVS] [SIREN WAILS]
[WHIMPERING]
[CRYING]
I'll do the heavy lifting. You do the cleanup.
*REGAL SYMPHONIC MUSIC PLAYS
BODYGUARD (O.S.) Mr. Thornton, you're not on the list
MICHAEL What about now? Am I on the list now?
[GUNSHOT]
[GUNSHOT MUFFLED]
[TWO GUNSHOTS]
[GUNSHOT]
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS]
Face it, Michael.
She's never coming back to you.
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS]
And why didn't she break through the windows?
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS]
Because she can't stand her own reflection.
So what's a guy like you gonna do?
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS]
I'm gonna kill that bitch.
Oh yeah.
[CRASH SOUNDS]
Fiancée my ass.
[SNARLING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC BUILDS]
[STRUGGLING NOISES]
[MONSTER SHRIEKS]
[BANGING AND GRUNTING]
SARA Michael?
[SPLATTER]
*TRIUMPHANT STRINGS SLOWLY RISE
* SOMBER PIANO JOINS IN
Out of sight, out of mind.
* FRANTIC ORCHESTRA PLAYS
[LOUD THUMP] [TIRES SCREECH]
MICHAEL Buck up, Bucko.
* EERIE MUSIC BEGINS TO SWELL
[LOUD ROAR]
[SNARLING NOISES]
[DEEP GUTTURAL BREATHING]
* STRONG TRIBAL DRUMS BUILD
[FLASH BACK SOUNDS] [STATIC]
DJ1 (ON RADIO) Well, well, well. What a weekend!
DJ2 (ON RADIO) Wild and crazy weekend!
DJ1 Good news. Bad news.
DJ2 Please tell us.
DJ1 Good news is they cancelled the county wide emergency.
Bad news is they have dozens of people still missing.
People apparently just went crack crazy this weekend!
DJ2 That is bad news. And..?
DJ1 And what?
DJ2 And what about the Bigfoot rumor?
DJ1 Oh! So you heard?
DJ2 It's all anyone is talking about.
DJ1 For those of you who were living under a rock or in a cave this
weekend, the rumor is... They found Bigfoot!
DJ2 Please go on.
DJ1 The rumor is not only that they found Bigfoot but they found
him dead in the middle of the road with a tire iron sticking through his chest.
DJ2 That's exactly what I'm hearing. They say the body measured nine to ten feet tall!
DJ1 But the authorities aren't talking. They will neither confirm nor deny!
DJ2 Obviously they will be housed with Area 51 and all the little green aliens.
DJ1 Ha ha! You are correct, sir!
DJ2 I am indeed.
DJ1 Any other local news of interest?
DJ2 Local doctors were able to successfully re-attach two fingers, a thumb, and a big toe
to a man who must have thrown himself in front of a lawn mower.
DJ1 You know, some guys will do anything to get out of taking out the trash.
Wow! A big toe! Amazing what science can do.
DJ2 Amazing, amazing, amazing it is.
DJ1 That's one lucky fellow.
DJ2 Yes he is, he is indeed.
DJ1 Now to warm up our night... here's some summer music.
* ROCK AND ROLL
PHIL You can imagine how skeptical people are right now.
Official word to be released is that the
county water supply was contaminated.
With LSD.
MICHAEL (VOICE ALTERED) Do you think I did this to myself?
PHIL Well, stranger things have happened to people under
the influence of hallucinogens.
But I digress --
The only reason we agreed to this interview is you maintain
you have proof of what you say happened...
I mean...
Even you have to admit your story is fanciful and...
quite difficult to believe.
MICHAEL Yes.
I find it quite difficult to believe.
But you say you have proof.
We need to see it, Michael.
MICHAEL When my Fiancée...
She bit me.
She bit me many many times.
It was inevitable that her blood would mix with mine.
I can feel the changes.
That's all well and good but we need to see actual proof!
Oh, I'm going to show you proof.
I'm going to show you all the proof you will ever...
...need.
* CHEERY ISLAND MUSIC
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
* ACOUSTIC GUITAR STRUMS
[INFLATING SOUND]
[CARTOONY HEAD SHAKE NOISE]
[BOING BOING]
[RUMBLING AND STOMPING]
[BOING BOING BOING]
[CHOMP!]
[CHEWING NOISES]
[SWALLOW AND SIGH]
[LOUD BELCH]
* ROCK AND ROLL
* MUSIC FADES
[SIREN WAILS]
*SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
[SNARLING]